Seven years ago...

Seven years ago Mississippi was hit by one of the worst hurricanes in history. We still live in the same house, but at that time we had a 10 month old, not a seven year old, almost 2 year old and 3 month old. Right now all the forecasts are saying that Isaac will hit right on the MS Gulf Coast - just like Katrina did - only this one should be slightly smaller. However, once again, Mississippi is being completely overlooked on a national scale. I came across a facebook page earlier that was called "The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile" (yes, I liked it.) For reference, here's what our coast looked like A YEAR AND A HALF after Katrina:











Those pictures are all from Biloxi and Gulfport. And this was after all the awesome, amazing people down there had been working for 19 months on cleaning and rebuilding. The days right after Katrina were horrific, and seven years later we are finally getting back to some sense of normal. And, of course, Isaac has to head our way and plans to hit almost exactly on the seven year anniversary of Katrina.

So, a note to all of the media outlets out there: We may not be as cool or historic as New Orleans and Mobile, but we are still here. We exist. And we are survivors. I have no problems with hearing reports about all of the Gulf Coast, because we are all a family. Just don't forget about the unwanted stepchild in the corner. We deserve to have our story told, too.

Praying it passes soon

I'm not sure if it's lack of sleep, stress, or hormones, but the dreams, anxiety and panics have started again. It doesn't happen often, but every once in awhile I have nights where I can't sleep and I keep imagining all the awful things that could happen to us. The most common is fire. I'm absolutely terrified that we're going to have a house fire in the middle of the night and I'm not going to be able to get all three of the girls out. And for the last few days, I've also been having crazy dreams, and will start getting panicky for no reason at all. I walked in a minute ago to calm Amelia and almost started crying when she looked up at me and said momma.

I know that these feelings will pass soon, but I absolutely hate feeling this way. I  KNOW it's irrational. I KNOW that I'm overreacting. I KNOW that I'm being a hormonal mommy. But when it's midnight or so and I can't sleep, and all I keep thinking about is crazy house fires or car wrecks or who knows what else, it's hard to remember that I'm being irrational and overreacting. Very very hard.

Middle of the night ramblings

It's about 3:30am right now, and the only reason I'm up is because the baby has decided that something is wrong and she must scream. She's finally settled some, but not asleep, so I'm doing this to keep myself awake until I can head back to bed.

I'm realizing again what the words "walking dead" mean. Last night I was in bed about 11, and woke at 2:30, 3:30, 4:15, 4:30, 4:45 and 5:00. Tonight it was sleep at 11:45, then up around 1:15, 3:00 and now 3:30. Monday night and Tuesday night were just as bad. It's not always Maddie. Sometimes it's Amelia (last night is because at 4:15 she decided she needed a "siss-sess bambaid" to sleep. It took me until 4:45 to figure that out.), and a few times it's been Mike. I told him I'm about to the point I'm going to head to Momma's tomorrow, pass off the three kids, and then lock myself away to go sleep. I'm REALLY tempted to do that.

Cadence auditioned for a play last week, and even got a callback. Unfortunately, we got a letter on Wednesday that she didn't get any part. She was really upset, but I'm proud that she even got up there with the other 64 people to audition for only 25 parts. It was for Pinkalicious, so it would have been the perfect first play for her, but I know there will be other opportunities. We're also back to being on any color but green at school. Thankfully she has an awesome teacher who seems really concerned about working with her to get to a less talkative state.

Amelia is talking up a storm, and is Disney obsessed. She begs for "mouse and quack!" every morning (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for those of you not fluent in Ameliaese), and loves to point out Pooh and Siss-Sess (any princess.) Tonight we put on Belle pjs, and I asked her who was on it expecting "siss-sess." Instead she looked at it, grinned really big and told me it was Belle. She is also starting to get into movies, and reminds me more of Sarah each day. She even grunted to help me open a jar the other day. I could just eat her up!

Maddie is growing like a weed, and so extremely sweet. She's a good mix of the other two, and is getting redder by the day. I'm SO happy about that. And thankfully she seems to finally be asleep, so I'm going to try and head back that way before another kid wakes. Maybe I'll get an hour or so in!

My "baby"

I was up late tonight getting clothes finished for Mike for tomorrow, and went to put something in Cadence's room. When you walk into Amelia's, it's covered in dolls and preschool toys and board books, and even though there is a "big girl bed," it's still very much a kid's room. I walked into Cadence's room, and was greeted with a DS charger, her hot pink camera, a few containers full of sparkly jewelry and headbands, and another container full of nail polish and the makeup she's managed to get others to buy her. There are still dolls and barbies and a few other kid things, but her room is slowly morphing into a tween room instead, covered in hot pink, lime green and sparkles. I know she'll be 8 in November, but she's not suppose to have a tween room yet!

She starts school next Tuesday, and will be in second grade. In the last year and a half she's gone from being our only kid, to having two sisters. She has a love of anything zebra printed, is a fabulous big sister, and is extremely creative. She's also extremely sensitive, and takes everything personally. She's dramatic, entertaining, loving, and goofy. She's extremely book smart, but can completely lack street smarts at times. And as crazy as she makes me, I wouldn't want her any other way.

Cadence is definitely the total opposite of Amelia, and is the opposite of me as well. It's taken me awhile to understand her attitudes and mood swings, and to be able to not take her reactions to things personally (actually, I'm still working on that), but I love her more than anything. I know that she will be the one to constantly amaze me, and will go on to do unbelievable things. I can't wait to see what God has in store for her.