Last few days as a family of 4

I turned 38 weeks on Friday, and they let me pick a day for the induction. On Wednesday, May 30 (barring any complications or unseen events) we will go from a family of 4 to a family of 5. I was told to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm on Tuesday night, and they'll start the induction Wednesday morning. If it goes like Amelia's did, she'll be here before noon.

Knowing that this time next weekend we'll have a newborn around here has made me want to spend way more time with the two I have. As of Wednesday, everything will be different. It will never be just the 4 of us again. And as excited as I am about the baby, that makes me sad. I feel like I just got used to having the 4 of us, to having Amelia around, and just got our routine down pat. And now it's all going to be different.

I am excited - I'm looking forward to nursing again and the sweet newborn cuddles, and watching Amelia adapt to being a big sister. To having a baby again, and the sweet tiny clothes, and definitely the 2 months off during the summer where my only job during the day will be to take care of and pay attention to her. But I'm worried - about Amelia adapting to having a baby taking over some of my time, that something will go wrong with the delivery or something will be "wrong" with her, and about being able to be a mom to three. I worry about finances and no sleep and our overcrowded little house. And I worry if I'm ready for this or not.

Mike and Cadence went and spent all day yesterday together, and Amelia and I went shopping. Today we're going to church, then hanging out, and we'll spend today and tomorrow cleaning last minute things to make sure it's all ready for me leaving. I'll go grocery shopping, make sure the bed and everything is ready, and try to make sure my house is decent enough for company since I know there will be tons of it the next week or so. 

I'm scared and nervous and excited and just overwhelmed. I'm not sure what to expect or what this baby will be like, or how my little family will react to me having to give so much attention to this new little one at the house. It's scary, but exciting. And I just hope I'm up for it.

That's not the word I'd use to describe it...

I've heard lots of woman say that they loved being pregnant because they felt beautiful and womanly and sexy. Now, this is my 3rd pregnancy, and while I've ranged from "Holy crap, this is torture!! Why do women do this to themselves???" (first) to "This isn't so bad. I can understand why someone would do this over and over - bonus: cute babies!!!" (third), "Sexy" isn't a word I would have ever used to describe being pregnant. Ever.

It is true that some women experience an increased sex drive, especially during the second trimester, but even during that time I would have never said that I felt "sexy" while pregnant. "Beautiful"? Maybe. "Womanly"? Definitely. "Beached whale that waddles everywhere she goes"? Without a doubt. But not sexy. I can't find anything attractive about any of this:

• Morning Sickness - Nothing says "sexy" like running to the bathroom to puke multiple times a day.
• Swelling - Those sexy heels I used to wear? So extremely attractive when you have swollen feet and cankles.
• Headaches - I was one of the lucky ones that actually GOT headaches from the hormone shifts, and it was so awesome having to deal with vomit-inducing headaches for months on end.
• Weight gain - I know it's normal to gain weight because of the increased blood flow, the baby growing, etc, but you end up going for a few months where you've put on some pounds, but you don't really look pregnant yet. It's a lovely time.
• Sinus issues - because of the increased blood flow and weight gain, most woman have sinus problems. I've had it all three times. Gotta love stuffy noses, snoring, and sinus headaches.
• Hemorrhoids - Again, weight gain and blood flow cause hemorrhoid problems as well. Sex-y.
• Gas and digestive problems - As the baby grows, it starts pushing on your intestines and colon. It causes all kinds of lovely issues. Thank goodness my husband loves me and knows that I'm not always a gas machine!
• Non-stop peeing - Between Baby Girl on the bladder, and having to drink non-stop to stave off dehydration, I go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I'm also going multiple times at night. I need to just buy stock in Angel Soft at the moment.
• No Sleep - There's the pregnancy insomnia, the fact that I can't get comfortable, the baby sitting in my ribs so I can't breathe, and I'm having to pee constantly (see above.) I keep telling myself that it's just trying to prepare me for her getting here, but man, a little sleep before she arrives would be nice!
• The Waddle - There's nothing sexier than a woman with a beach ball under her shirt, waddling like a duck. Quack Quack!

Then, of course, is labor and delivery. This is baby #3, and it's been 7 years since having the first. Yet, my husband still refuses to come into the delivery room with me this time. He was thrilled when my mom wanted to come in with #2, and has told me I can't have this one until at least May 28  because my mom won't be back from vacation until then. He is still scarred from the screaming, yelling, crying and cussing, not to mention the actual delivery itself in all it's bloody glory. Yep, that's pure sexiness right there.

There are lots of things I'm loving about being pregnant this time, and I do have my moments where I feel pretty and beautiful and excited about the new life growing inside me. However, I will be very very happy to be somewhere closer to a normal weight again, and not have to deal with a majority of the issues listed above. Maybe then I'll start using "sexy" to describe myself again.

Happy Mother's Day!

I've spent the day on the phone with PayPal (someone in New Zealand was using Mike's credit card), and Amelia's room won't be finished by the end of the day, but I got lunch made for me, Cadence brought me home a pretty plant from school and made me a card, and I've have had a blast hanging out with my girls. Happy Mother's Day to all the Momma's out there, and here's some pictures from my weekend.

4 weeks to go...

I had my 36 week appointment today, and everything is looking good. My blood pressure is good, her heartrate was strong, no signs yet of labor, and I'm now officially on weekly visits until she arrives. I also found out that my Group B Strep test came back negative, but since I was positive with both of the other girls, there's a chance I may get antibiotics anyway as a precaution. I start checks next week, and was told that if I was "easily induceable" at any point after that and want her here, they'll induce me. I'm going to try and hold out until at least June 1 (39 weeks), but at that point, I don't think I'd turn an induction down!

I've spent the last few days trying to get things ready. At work, I've talked to them about vacation time, maternity leave and insurance, and I also have the major list started for the guy that's going to be filling in for me. As far as the room, it's to the point I hope to start painting tomorrow night. Over the weekend we got all the trash and donated items out, both dressers are ready (one even has clothes!), and got most of the items put away that we are keeping, but don't need to stay in there. Today I got the carpet shampooed and the desk finished and pictures on craigslist for it. We're now down to painting, arranging furniture and toys, and then fixing the ceiling and ceiling fan when my dad is here this weekend. I also need to wash and put away Baby Girl's clothes, but hopefully we can get Amelia in there before that has to be completed. It's actually looking like a real room, and I can't wait to get her settled.

Cadence is almost finished with school, and the next two weeks are going to be so busy. This week she has Field Day on Friday, and next week is Awards Day. We also have Girl Scout meetings, a bake sale, her Bridging Ceremony then Memorial Day. I also have weekly doctor's appointments, and a shower for Stacey that I work with. At least I'll have a ton of things to keep me busy until Baby Girl gets here!