That's not the word I'd use to describe it...

I've heard lots of woman say that they loved being pregnant because they felt beautiful and womanly and sexy. Now, this is my 3rd pregnancy, and while I've ranged from "Holy crap, this is torture!! Why do women do this to themselves???" (first) to "This isn't so bad. I can understand why someone would do this over and over - bonus: cute babies!!!" (third), "Sexy" isn't a word I would have ever used to describe being pregnant. Ever.

It is true that some women experience an increased sex drive, especially during the second trimester, but even during that time I would have never said that I felt "sexy" while pregnant. "Beautiful"? Maybe. "Womanly"? Definitely. "Beached whale that waddles everywhere she goes"? Without a doubt. But not sexy. I can't find anything attractive about any of this:
  • Morning Sickness - Nothing says "sexy" like running to the bathroom to puke multiple times a day.
  • Swelling - Those sexy heels I used to wear? So extremely attractive when you have swollen feet and cankles.
  • Headaches - I was one of the lucky ones that actually GOT headaches from the hormone shifts, and it was so awesome having to deal with vomit-inducing headaches for months on end.
  • Weight gain - I know it's normal to gain weight because of the increased blood flow, the baby growing, etc, but you end up going for a few months where you've put on some pounds, but you don't really look pregnant yet. It's a lovely time.
  • Sinus issues - because of the increased blood flow and weight gain, most woman have sinus problems. I've had it all three times. Gotta love stuffy noses, snoring, and sinus headaches.
  • Hemorrhoids - Again, weight gain and blood flow cause hemorrhoid problems as well. Sex-y.
  • Gas and digestive problems - As the baby grows, it starts pushing on your intestines and colon. It causes all kinds of lovely issues. Thank goodness my husband loves me and knows that I'm not always a gas machine!
  • Non-stop peeing - Between Baby Girl on the bladder, and having to drink non-stop to stave off dehydration, I go to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I'm also going multiple times at night. I need to just buy stock in Angel Soft at the moment.
  • No Sleep - There's the pregnancy insomnia, the fact that I can't get comfortable, the baby sitting in my ribs so I can't breathe, and I'm having to pee constantly (see above.) I keep telling myself that it's just trying to prepare me for her getting here, but man, a little sleep before she arrives would be nice!
  • The Waddle - There's nothing sexier than a woman with a beach ball under her shirt, waddling like a duck. Quack Quack!
Then, of course, is labor and delivery. This is baby #3, and it's been 7 years since having the first. Yet, my husband still refuses to come into the delivery room with me this time. He was thrilled when my mom wanted to come in with #2, and has told me I can't have this one until at least May 28  because my mom won't be back from vacation until then. He is still scarred from the screaming, yelling, crying and cussing, not to mention the actual delivery itself in all it's bloody glory. Yep, that's pure sexiness right there.

There are lots of things I'm loving about being pregnant this time, and I do have my moments where I feel pretty and beautiful and excited about the new life growing inside me. However, I will be very very happy to be somewhere closer to a normal weight again, and not have to deal with a majority of the issues listed above. Maybe then I'll start using "sexy" to describe myself again.

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