Last few days as a family of 4

I turned 38 weeks on Friday, and they let me pick a day for the induction. On Wednesday, May 30 (barring any complications or unseen events) we will go from a family of 4 to a family of 5. I was told to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm on Tuesday night, and they'll start the induction Wednesday morning. If it goes like Amelia's did, she'll be here before noon.

Knowing that this time next weekend we'll have a newborn around here has made me want to spend way more time with the two I have. As of Wednesday, everything will be different. It will never be just the 4 of us again. And as excited as I am about the baby, that makes me sad. I feel like I just got used to having the 4 of us, to having Amelia around, and just got our routine down pat. And now it's all going to be different.

I am excited - I'm looking forward to nursing again and the sweet newborn cuddles, and watching Amelia adapt to being a big sister. To having a baby again, and the sweet tiny clothes, and definitely the 2 months off during the summer where my only job during the day will be to take care of and pay attention to her. But I'm worried - about Amelia adapting to having a baby taking over some of my time, that something will go wrong with the delivery or something will be "wrong" with her, and about being able to be a mom to three. I worry about finances and no sleep and our overcrowded little house. And I worry if I'm ready for this or not.

Mike and Cadence went and spent all day yesterday together, and Amelia and I went shopping. Today we're going to church, then hanging out, and we'll spend today and tomorrow cleaning last minute things to make sure it's all ready for me leaving. I'll go grocery shopping, make sure the bed and everything is ready, and try to make sure my house is decent enough for company since I know there will be tons of it the next week or so. 

I'm scared and nervous and excited and just overwhelmed. I'm not sure what to expect or what this baby will be like, or how my little family will react to me having to give so much attention to this new little one at the house. It's scary, but exciting. And I just hope I'm up for it.