A bad update

My grandfather had his first treatment yesterday, and it’s not as promising as I was hoping. I was told that he was stage 4 and it’s progressive, and it looks worse than it did a few weeks ago when he was in the hospital. With chemo, they are giving him 6 months to a year. However, he’s not eating, and they said if he doesn’t, then they can’t do chemo. Without chemo, it’s even less.

I spent a lot of the night last night crying, and I think I’m still in shock. As sad as it is, I’m almost to the point that I just hope he makes it to Christmas. I feel awful that we weren’t there this past year, and I know if he makes it to then, this Christmas will be very bittersweet. I stil can’t believe I’m even thinking things like this. It’s so crazy.

Things I’m thankful for:
1) The wonderful memories I have
2) My family
3) Doctors and medicine - even if they aren’t doing what I wish they could
4) The hope that he could still last longer than they say
5) The knowledge that it’s not in my hands - and His hands are big enough to hold me if things are hard.


robin said...

I'm so sorry....


I hope he starts eating soon.

JAMR72 said...

Randi, I'm so sorry to hear that it's worse than previous. You and your family are in my thoughts. I'm sending big hugs your way.

Kahla said...

Focus on the time you do have, although I know that doesn't make it easier. Sending lots of hugs, will give you some real ones in just a few days!

Elecat said...

That's heart breaking... we've never met but my heart goes out to you.