So many feelings from just one little word

Today our family heard the dreaded "C" word - my grandfather more than likely has cancer. So many emotions, caused by that one little collection of letters. They thought at first it might be gall stones (they found "something" between his gallbladder and pancreas), but after further testing and a biopsy, it looks like pancreatic cancer. They are still doing tests, and won't know specifics - like stages or severity or treatments - until at least tomorrow.

It's just all so unfair, and right now I'm scared to death. I'm worried for him, I'm really worried for my grandmother, and I'm terrified for all of us. Cecily has been crying for two days. I've burst into tears at work more than once. I think I even scared Cadence at one point, but she was so sweet and drew me pictures to make me feel better. I'm praying that tomorrow brings wonderful news - it's stage 1, they caught it early, it's not as bad as they first thought, it's removable without chemo, it was a total mistake and it's actually a cyst - anything as long as it's good news. Please, please, please let them come back with good news.

Things I'm thankful for:
1) My family
2) The memories I have
3) The hope I have that it will be ok
4) The faith I have that even if it's bad news, we'll make it through
5) The support from my job and from friends

1 comment:

JAMR72 said...

Big hugs, Randi. Will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers. Know that you have many to lean on, and we are here for you.